Week 2

I am just about to start week 2 of work. Week 1 went remarkably well. I cried each time I left Kinnie, though each time the tears were dried more quickly. I think I will love my job- it will keep me busy, which is good when I want time to pass to get home to my baby. Kinnie has handled the transition well. We love her daycare provider so far- she is a woman who specializes in babies under 3 years old. She is attentive and relaxed and caring. There are three other girls there when Kinnie is, and she loves to watch them. In the past week, she has become even more talkative, and I wonder if it is, in part, her effort to communicate with the other kids.

I was rocking Kinnie last night, after her nighttime meal. She was asleep, and I was watching her, imagining what life will be like when she is one year, or ten years, or when she is moving out on her own for the first time. I realized I feel so unprepared for those things. It is so lovely that parenthood is a process. So, while none of those milestones will happen tomorrow, when I look back, it will probably feel as though it was just yesterday that I was rocking my little infant to sleep. Because we're together every day, and I see her grow and develop, when those milestones do get here, I will be ready.

I am so grateful for this experience. I can't believe how it has changed my life, and my outlook on life. A cousin wrote that life before kids is black and white, and after kids, life is in color. That's the best description I have heard. And no one could have explained it to me before she was born. There just aren't words. And, I think one doesn't know this kind of love and awe and gratitude until they are looking into their child's face for the first time.