On being human

Kinnie had her 9 month check up yesterday. She is tall (29.25 inches and in the 90th percentile), and is almost 20 pounds. Her doctor discovered that she had infections in both ears- thanks to this cold- and is also slightly anemic. While worrisome, it is likely that her anemia is related to her diet, and nothing more serious. We headed to Children's hospital after her check up to have a more extensive blood panel drawn. She was a champ. She let out a scream when the needle went into her arm, and then quietly watched the face of woman drawing her blood. I was sure I was going to cry, but when Kinnie was so brave about it, I was brave, too. We should have the results in the next couple of days, for which I am eager.

My mom was with us for the check up and subsequent blood draw. When the three of us arrived at Children's, we parked on the second level of the parking garage, and headed toward the elevators. As we neared them, a woman pushing a double stroller was exiting. There were two children in the stroller, a little girl in the front and boy in the back. It was evident that the boy was not well. He was under a thick blanket, and had a very weary pallor. It was evident, also, that the mom pushing the stroller was crying. We, along with another person or two, held the doors for her. As my mom and I entered the elevator, my mom asked, "what should we do?" I said I didn't know. The elevator arrived on the first level, and I asked, "Do you want to go back up?" My mom said, "yes," and we went back up to the second level.

We saw the woman loading her children and all their things into her car. Kinnie and I stood back as my mom approached the woman. I think my mom said, "you look like you could use a hug." The woman leaned into my mom, and cried and shook. My mom held her for a long time.

My mom told me later that the woman explained that she and her kids were here from Nebraska. She said her son, who was maybe 4 years old, has cancer, and they were at Children's for chemo. She told my mom that her son has not been doing well, and that this day was her dad's birthday, and that he had recently passed away. She said that her husband had been unable to come with her and their kids. My mom held her again, and slowly walked away with tear stains all over her shoulder.

I went to bed thinking of this woman, and awakened thinking of her. And I wanted to share this story, in part, to honor my mom. I feel as though we live in a world where we feel so separate. Our politics, our opinions, our fears keep us apart. When I first saw this woman, my heart broke for her, and, to be honest, I felt as though I didn't know what to do. I probably would have kept walking. There are all those thoughts about minding my own business, about the fact that we were strangers.

My mom walked right past those doubts. Because, ultimately, we are all human. And, in this case, we were all Mamas. And I have no doubt that my mom, in that moment, provided some relief for the woman's burden. She carried it for her. She helped her not feel alone.

I learned so much in those moments. And, imagine what this world would be like if we operated from that place of being human, without focus on all those things that separate us. The woman is in my heart and in my thoughts. And, I am so grateful for this lesson. I hope that in the future I have the strength to reach out, and to teach my daughter, as my mom did this day.