Cambio

Cambio is Spanish for "change." One year ago today, we left Guadalajara. The changes in our lives since that day have been immense.

I awakened this morning trying to make sense of what my experience in Mexico means to me. I want other people to know how much a part of me that experience is, how much it meant to me, how much I loved it. But I don't know what to compare it to.

Moving to Guadalajara was a victory, because we challenged ourselves and found that we made it through. It was humbling, because we had to face our lack of knowledge of a culture and language, and ask for a lot of help. It was exciting, because we took risks and adventured in a way we had never imagined. It was stressful, because we were so far away from our family and friends.

I think, most of all, it was lovely. Lovely in the most beautiful, passionate sense. The culture, the community, the people, the food, the scenery, our students...

I still so clearly remember our little house, and lying in bed in the mornings and seeing our orange tree out the back window. I remember walking Koda and Fifi through the neighborhood, and greeting all our neighbors. I remember lugging our laundry around the block in trash bags to the laundromat. I remember sharing Pizza y Come with our friends. I remember the traffic on Lopez Mateos. I remember driving by a billboard for half a year before figuring out what it meant, and then feeling so proud that I finally did. I remember the feeling of my classroom early in the morning, watching the sun rise before my students came in. I remember the taste of Juan Carlos' tacos dorados, and Hector's tortas ahogadas.

It is not as if I regret or resent the changes in my life. Anyone who knows me knows how much I love being a Mama, and how I love being close to my family and friends. But I think this longing in my heart will always be there...