Questions and answers

I am 10 days post hip replacement.

I have a lot more understanding now, more knowledge about all the things I feared.

The pain has not been too bad. Since I awakened from surgery, it has been well managed. The precautions, dictating how I move, have been manageable. I daresay that I am now an expert at getting just about anywhere, and doing almost anything, without bending at the waist, crossing my legs, or twisting. The worst parts have probably been my inability to sleep in my favorite positions, and being sick from the medications. Oh yeah, that, and waking in the middle of surgery to hear the surgeon hammering the implant into my femur. Overall, it is not as bad as I feared.

My baby girl is a champion. She is overjoyed to spend so much time with her grandparents, and we are finding ways to interact, despite my limitations. Several times every day, she approaches me, points to my right leg, and says "Mommy's okay leg," and subsequently points to my left leg and says "Mommy's owie leg." She has shown compassion and sweetness, rubbing lotion on my leg and fixing the toes on the stockings I have to wear every day to prevent blood clots.

It is good to have all these answers as I face another surgery in 3 days.

I think my surgeon knew, as soon as he closed 10 days ago, that the discrepancy in the length of my legs was significant. He expressed concern, but said he wanted to see how I felt about it. I have definitely noticed. It is difficult to stand on both legs without bending my left knee. When I sit, it seems apparent that my left femur is longer. After a series of X-rays yesterday, we learned that there is nearly an inch difference.

I had a long talk with my surgeon about what happened, and about my options. He said that because of the surgeries I underwent as a child, the normal "landmarks" that he uses to determine leg length were missing. He said that I could live with the discrepancy, and potentially put lifts into my shoe that would help make my legs even. But there could be problems down the road. The tilt in my pelvis could cause pain and arthritis in my back. And possibly cause problems with my other hip.

My other option is more surgery to make adjustments to my hip implant. My surgeon said he feels confident that he can make my legs much more even by changing the angle of the femoral head, and changing the insert in the cup of the joint. Overall, it should be an easier surgery than the first. But it will add two more weeks to my recovery.

Last night, I was upset. I feel scared of more complications. I feel discouraged. It is difficult to feel as though I have taken so many steps forward to then go back. It sucks to potentially miss two more weeks of my summer. I hate that the time I can't play with Kinnie, fully, is extended.

Today, I am reminding myself and in the grand scheme of things, this is a tiny speck of time, that my coming recovery will be even better, because I have such a clear picture of how it is going to look. I have incredible support from all over the place. I am reminding myself that it will be okay.