The last night- part two

I am about to go to bed in my little townhouse for the last time. I cannot begin to fathom not living here. It has been my home for much of my adult life. I was 23 years old when we bought it and moved in. Remember Trading Spaces? I was a huge fan, and allowed it to influence me to paint my walls a rainbow of colors. I was most excited because owning my own place meant I could adopt my own puppy. Koda came into our lives two months after we moved in. Thank goodness she's with us to move on to the next adventure.

We had some great parties here. There are great memories of friends laughing hysterically in this house. At one such event, I remember Eric rolling on the floor in fits of giggles. It is an especially precious memory.

This is the home where I brought my two precious newborns. Where I went from an insecure young woman to a thirty-something finding her way. Where my marriage grew from the status of newlyweds to that of being an old married couple. This place is where I studied to get my master's degree. It is where I have hosted family dinners, and learned to really cook. I have had some of my most fantastic moments here, and some of my most painful.

When I walk out the door tomorrow, for the last time, I'm not sure how I'll feel. We still don't know for sure that we have a house to move into. We are packing a truck and driving to Salida, with our destination as of yet unknown. We hope that it will be the house we have wanted all along. But right now, there is no guarantee.

Today, I had the opportunity to spend time with some of my dearest friends. I walked away from those meetings wondering why I made the choice to leave. So much of my life is here. But I think what I figured out is that the city leaves me too busy to live this life. I felt stretched thin much of the time, and wishing for more hours to spend on the things that matter the most.

I think, though I will be farther away, I will be more at peace. And I will have more time and energy to devote to connecting to those I love- both near and far. Let the next step begin.